She is
by xMissFortune
Summary: You can never truly know her. Simply because she can be anything. She can be anyone. And she is. She's happy, she's sad, she's angry, she's lust, she's brave... She is... Raven. /Raven drabbles/
1. Deception

If they knew I guess they'd call you a liar. But that's not what we are, right? Oh, I'm sorry, I mean what I am. You don't like to associate yourself with me, simply because I have always been presumed a bad thing. (_chuckle_) And who's to say I'm not? But come on, I'm not that bad.

Fine, be in denial. But you know I do good.

And when you look at it, we're the same. But no, you're still in denial, saying that you're no liar. But neither am I, and you know it. I simply am. Just like you.

It's a rather complicated definition we have there. Simply being, that is. It's a constant struggle, and for once, I find it boring. You yourself know that nothing is ever black and white, yet you rely on it so much. So I guess we'd be somewhere in the middle.

Nah, I don't see gray here. Actually I just don't like the color. Too dull.

I only see a line and that we're standing on it, with white on one side and black on the other. You don't like being there, I just don't bother with it. Actually I prefer it here. If I get bored looking at one side I can just turn my head and stare at the other. Simple.

Oh, come on, don't give me that look.

Yeah, yeah, I know, you think I'm a bitch. But tell me, does the fact that you're killing yourself over trying to decide which side do you belong on while I sit on their edge and won't budge bother you that much?

I guess that's why you don't like me (_a grin_), because I simply am, just like you. You call me a liar, when you know that I'm not. As I told you before, I simply am.

I feel the way you roll my name around your tongue, frowning from the bitter taste that it leaves in your mouth.

I can't help but smirk at this, but then again I smirk just about everything that involves me.

That's why you hate me, because I enjoy everything I do. But in the end, you need me, because we're the same and I know how to protect your secrets.

You know, when you scowl like that, so disgusted with me, I can't help but be amused. Because you simply HATE to admit how much you actually need me. But don't worry, Pride shares the same feelings as you.

You two depend on me (_smirk_) because without me you would be an open book. You would be stripped naked of all those pretty little barriers of yours that keep you secluded from others, that keep you safe.

Can you imagine it? Because I sure can. You and your secrets opened for the entire world to see. To poke at your aching chest, probe your 'oh so strong' yet 'oh so fragile' mind and twist it, to hold your bleeding heart in their hands and squeeze it, hurt it.

You know what? I just realized why you don't like me that much (_Cheshire grin_). It's because of how much you actually depend on me (_chuckle_) and you don't depend on anyone, do you now?

Do you know how it would be fun to show everyone how much of a 'Miss Independent' you really are?

That's why you can't stand me, why you don't trust me. I find it a bit of ironic, you of all people not to trust your own self. (_snigger_)

But then again, why would you trust me? You know that I can change sides in less than a blink of an eye. Again. And again. And then again. Without giving as much as a wave of a hand and all for my own reasons.

Yet you can't exist without me. No, you wouldn't be Raven, the second in command of the Teen Titans, the 'Stony Ice Queen', the perfect little toy-solider.

You'd be vulnerable without me. So pregnable.

You'd crumble down.

You'd be left for _**dead**_.

I would find your reasons justified for hating me, if you weren't such a hypocrite.

Oh, there's that scowl of your again. (_sigh_)

Tell me something… what would it be like if I weren't here to put on your stone expression, to avert others' eyes from the pain and anguish, to stop them from asking for answers that would do more harm than good?

All I do is what you created me to do and you hate me for that, for never letting you get caught. But blame Pride, not me. I just play the game you created, the one where I have to conceal your footsteps, your pain, your knowledge, your love and your tears. The only thing you can hate me for is for being good at it and nothing more.

I'll be honest here, after all I am talking to you, so I don't care. Your black and white scenario of good and bad, of honesty and lies, has nothing to do with me. Because I simply am what I am. And I enjoy doing it for whatever reason.

I'm just a player in your game of hide and seek. (_chuckle_) After all… I am Deception.


	2. Anger

Where are you?

It hurts…

When are you coming?

It hurts so much…

Why aren't you here?

Don't leave me alone in here… Come soon… I need you to be here…

YOU SHOULD BE HERE!!!!

Nonononono (_shakes head_), you will. You'll come. I know you will. You will come and then you'll untangle me from this web. You'll free me, because you're good, right? You will. You're a good person.

My chest… it… i-it hurts. It hurts so badly. Please come soon… I don't know if I can stand this any longer.

I can't move. I can scream, but what's the point? It will only be an endless echo. It will never disappear. It will keep reminding me that I'm the only one here…. The only one… here…

DAMN IT, WHERE ARE YOU?! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!

My eyes, they're welling up. I feel warm liquid slipping down my cheeks. They won't stop. THEY WON'T STOP!

This is all your fault. You put me in here! So why aren't you here?!

I-I need you… It hurts so bad…

When are you going to come? I need somebody, but as much anybody would do, I need you the most.

Only you can untangle me from this web I've caught myself in. Only you hold the reasons. Only you will justify.

You'll come and it will happen just like every other time you came.

I hear a creak. I don't believe it. A single thread of light appears and as it spreads wider I look up.

You're here…

You're really here… my savior.

And there you stand in all that light. Gazing at me with an unreadable expression.

I can't believe it.

I wait. Looking nowhere else but at you.

And you just stand there. A face made out of porcelain into an emotionless mask, lips that never waver, never smile, violet hair gracing your face… the face of my savior… the face I long to ruin.

That's when I scream. That's when I struggle. That's when I don't need you.

The chains you put me in bite at my skin, they draw blood. My skin burns. My throat is hurting from screaming at you, cursing at you. My fingers ache to wrap themselves around your neck, to draw your blood. To hurt you so much, because I'm in pain… And all because of you.

That's why I need you…

So why aren't you here? Why aren't you opening the door to the cell you condemned me to?! WHY AREN'T YOU HERE?!

Please… Please… Where are you?

Please…

I need someone… I need someone to be angry at. I need someone to lunge at, to scream at.

Don't leave me here… There's no one to be angry at here… I'm the only one… I'm the only one here…

I'm the only one here to be angry at… and it hurts. It hurt so fucking bad!

WHERE ARE YOU?!

WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?!

WHY AREN'T YOU HERE WHEN I NEED YOU THE MOST?!

DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW MUCH I HURT?!

My own fire… My own fury… My own pain, cries and screams… can't touch anyone but me in here… So where are you?

I need you…

When are you coming?

Because it hurts…

Why aren't you here?

Don't leave me alone in here…

You're the only one I can be angry at.

You're my savior.

You're my tormentor.

You're the one who made me who am I. You're the one who named me. You're the one who made me… who made me Anger.


End file.
